I’m not sure what response I was expecting, but I know it was something loosely based on a magical Hollywood moment that I’d seen long ago.

She would say something like, “Work with you, mommy? Really? That’s awesome!” or “I want to start right now!”

Her actual response was a little different.

She got the same expression on her face that she gets when I make her stop doing something fun so she can put her socks on and said, “Mommy, I don’t want to stare at a computer all day.”

And there it was, from the mouth of my baby. That one short sentence deflated the rest of my day (okay, week).

I dropped her and her sister off at school, drove home listening to Deer Tick’s, “Art Isn’t Real (City of Sin)” and sobbing.

After I got over the simplistic, yet accurate, summary of my work day, I felt  better.  Sort of.

I realized that my expectations were a bit unrealistic. My child is seven. I mean, what was I thinking?

However, the entire experience made me consider the way I spend my time each day and how that might look to a child. When she sees me working, I’m staring at my computer. There’s nothing beyond that for her. I’m stuck at my desk while she’s playing in the mud with her friends.

But when I think how I’ve carved out a niche for myself that enables me to work from home, continuously rearrange my schedule, and support a family, I realize my perspective is impossible for her to understand. I see my computer as an instrument of freedom, rather than a ball and chain around my ankle.

I don’t want to give my daughter spreadsheets to update and files to edit. I want to give her the tools to carve out the life she wants. Someday she’ll understand that, but for now we’re both happy to let her play in the mud while mommy stares at the computer.

–

This article was published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on 3/14/09 under the title, “Be Like Mommy, Girl Isn’t too Keen”

Although he has his own online business, his primary task was watching our two girls (among a multitude of other things).

It’s been a boon for my business. In the last four years, I haven’t had to worry about snow days, or sick days or week-long school vacations. My husband was always there to watch our children so I could work.

Until last week, that is. The cost of healthcare, combined with the burden of multiple expenses finally became too much for my salary alone.

We ultimately concluded that he had to go back to work, even if it meant a large percentage of his weekly paycheck would  go towards health insurance.

We’re lucky. My husband’s old boss, the owner of a woodworking shop in Kingston, was happy to take him back on a part-time basis. As of last Monday, he started working 6 hours a day, four days a week.  That’s enough to qualify him for healthcare benefits (including dental!)

The shift from a household with one working parent to a household with two working parents has been a bit rocky.

One of the things I’d forgotten was how kids invite chaos. Even the most flawless plans can go awry when unexpected things happen – like snow closings or strep throat.

Take the snowstorm of last week, for example. School was closed on Monday, but we’d both planned to work. I didn’t have any pressing deadlines or client calls, so we made the decision for me to miss work.

My girls were shocked when they realized I was the one staying home with them. In fact, I was a little shocked myself. The whole experience made me realize that in the past four years, I’ve taken very little time off beyond a week or two of vacation days (mostly scattered throughout the year).

I have to say, I loved taking that day off. I had a great day with the girls and it was very nice not being tethered to my computer all day.

I don’t know why it took me so long to work some personal time into my schedule, but I’m really glad I discovered that the world (and my business) doesn’t stop turning just because I had to take an unexpected day off. My kids are glad too.

–

This article was originally published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on 3/7/09

Process versus product is an important distinction, as it turns out. For the first 18 years of my working life, I was focused on the product of my work. I don’t mean what my work produced – most of that was intangible anyway (answering phones, editing documents, sitting in meetings, etc.)

The product I’m referring to is my paycheck. I worked for that paycheck and while I took pride in the quality of my work, whatever “work” was at any given time, I didn’t particularly enjoy doing it.

My days were filled with clock watching moments of long-drawn out agony, extremely reminiscent of  my childhood years as a student. In fact, this same “clock watching” mentality permeated my school years. I did my work to get better grades, but not through any enjoyment of learning.

So I guess it’s safe to say that self-employment finally put an end to a life time of rushing through the weeks, months and years with the goal of getting  the prize at the end – that paycheck.  Ironically, I make more money now than I ever thought possible when I worked for that end goal.

But old habits die hard. Even now, in my seventh year of self-employment, I find myself wistfully looking forward. What will life be like in ten years or twenty? What would I do with all the time and (hopefully) money I’ll have in the future when I’m retired?

And speaking of retirement, is it truly the ultimate prize at the end? According to Elderweb, the average age of retirement in 2000 was 62, and the typical retiree could expect to live 18 years or more past the age of retirement.

But what can it mean to live all those years without working, particularly in a country without adequate health coverage or retirement benefits? Is retirement really a prize?

Self-employment has shown me that the notion of spending my time as I please does not have to wait.

So instead of wistfully thinking about all the time I’ll have to do nothing, I’ve begun thinking about retirement as the time I get to do more of the work I love – writing, drawing, learning new things and, yes, working.

I’m beginning to think the prize is the process itself.

–

This article was originally published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on January 24, 2009.

One common mistake which is often impossible to avoid, even after years of being on my own, is signing on with a client who turns out to be a bad fit for one reason or another.

Winning new work never seems like a mistake when I’m riding the “new business” high and submitting my estimate. At that stage of the client relationship, it’s easy to rationalize that any new client is a profitable one.

But I’ve developed somewhat of a sixth sense when it comes to what works and what doesn’t, and I inevitably get into trouble when I avoid my internal warning bells.

As the old saying goes, “Time is money.” My estimates are based loosely on hours and experience – I know how long it typically takes me to get a job done and I scope out each project based on a fairly consistent process that I’ve honed over the years.

This being the case, there are certain clients that, for one reason or another, don’t fit the mold. This can mean one of any number of things.

For example, sometimes a client is very hands on with their project and I’m not able to respond quickly enough to what tends to be frequent requests. In other instances, a project’s scope of work completely changes after the estimate has been signed (through no fault of mine or the client’s) so what I may have thought was a very straightforward project becomes something altogether different.

Sometimes a client’s organizational structure changes and I end up reporting to a different person than originally hired me. In these instances, I usually have to “resell” myself at the same time as I’m actually doing the work, which adds on additional business development hours that aren’t billable.

I’ve grown pretty good at screening out clients that I deem a “poor fit” but it’s not always easy to predict from the get go. Thus,  learning how to recognize that a client is not good for me has become one of the most important skills I never knew I needed.

Likewise, either re-scoping my work (which translates to asking for more money) or tactfully ending a client the relationship before it snowballs into a huge money losing venture are critical components of  maintaining the health of my business.

–

The above article was originally published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on 12/20/08

I think if it had been left entirely up to me, I would still be working at the agency that laid me off back in 2002. There never seemed to be a good time to branch out on my own and I really had no reason to leave. I had a safe job with a predictable paycheck and a 401k with a pretty good company match program.

But the rug was pulled out from under me and I got laid off. It shattered my confidence in the “system” in an instant. I was very reluctant to jump back into a full-time job and put myself at the mercy of any one company’s bottom line.

I ultimately decided to pursue self-employment because I felt it offered more security than any one job could provide. My goal was to secure multiple clients so that if one of them dropped me, I’d still have an income stream until I could replace them. I ultimately achieved this goal, but at considerable expense in the form of taxes, health insurance and more than a few costly mistakes.

So, to all the would-be self-employed people out there – particularly those of you who may be recently laid off – here are a few tips.

Believe in yourself. I know this sounds like trite dime-store self-help advice. Bear with me. It’s natural to doubt your ability to succeed without the benefit of a corporate safety net, but if you have a good business idea, or a lot of experience or the drive and curiosity to approach work in an entirely new way, then don’t let self-doubt stand in your way.

Take baby steps. The chasm between your identity as a full-time employee and a business owner is a large one. Don’t look into it. Rather, think about what steps you must take to get you from one side to the other , then approach each step individually. For example, a friend of mine said her first task was creating a Web site and she focused on that before actively looking for work. For you it may be redoing your resume, or taking a class.

Expect to make mistakes. I can pretty much guarantee that the first year you’re in business will be fraught with errors, some of them quite costly. Mistakes are normal. You’ll make many. Take them with a grain of salt and learn from them. Your business will be better for it in the long run.

–

Article originally published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on 12/13/08 under the title, “Layoff can clear path to self-employment.”

Last month I put my glass coffee carafe at the edge of the sink and then bumped it with my elbow when I reached for the sponge.

I could only watch helplessly as it fell to the kitchen floor and shattered into a million pieces, waking my husband. He found me hunched over a pile of glass at 7:00 a.m. trying to pick out the largest pieces so I could vacuum the mess. I’d turned to him then and said, “bad news.”

My husband came home later that day with a gleaming new carafe and it’s like nothing ever happened. Only now when I make coffee, I’m careful not to put the carafe at the edge of the sink.

The moment of sinking helplessness I felt when my elbow bumped the carafe is very similar to how I felt a couple of weeks ago when I discovered I made a mistake that cost one of my clients money. They were able to recover most of it, and I offered to pay the difference, but that doesn’t change the fact that it happened.

Mistakes at home are one thing. Most things broken are eventually forgotten or replaced. But making mistakes at work is a different story. They cost money and can wreak havoc with client relationships.

Still, a lot can be learned from making mistakes. From my perspective, mistake-management is a three step process, as follows.

Step one – Own up to it. It’s only human to get defensive when something goes wrong – whether it’s a tiny error (e.g., why don’t these numbers add up right?) to something major (e.g., how come you didn’t get this done when you said you would?) Recognizing that the mistake was my fault, explaining how it happened and apologizing is crucial to begin repairing the damage.

Step two – Preventing it from happening again. While there’s no way to prevent mistakes completely, there are ways to reduce errors. This may be as simple as setting up deadline alerts or having someone else double check my numbers. Creating a consistent process reduces mistakes is essential to rebuilding client trust.

Step Three – Get over it. When I make a mistake, I exhaust myself and those around me with my own undending regret. This isn’t good for my soul, my relationships or, in the long run, my business. Ultimately mistakes fade into  obscurity and life goes on and that’s ok. If I’m lucky, I’ll get something out of it – like a brand new carafe  or a great idea for improving my business.

–

This article was originally published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on 9/6/08 under the title, “Goofed, Follow this 3-step recovery plan”

An article on the U.S. Small Business Administration’s web site, SBA.gov, reports that 91% of unhappy customers will never again buy from a company they’re displeased with and (perhaps the most disturbing statistic) they will voice their negative feelings to at least seven other people.

Given the above statistics, it is critical to have a sound exit strategy when ending a project, whether it is a long-term assignment or a short-term gig. This philosophy has helped me consistently grow my professional network throughout the years.

Here are a few of the strategies I employ to ensure clients are happy, not just until the very end of a project, but long after they write me their final check.

Wrapping it up

I always conduct a project wrap-up to ascertain the successes and failures of a given project. This often involves putting together some slides which redefine the original goals of the project, pinpoint major project milestones, and provide feedback and recommendations for how to leverage key learnings. I make it a point to schedule a call for the wrap up so I can review my slides and talk with the client about next steps, if any.

Keeping it open ended

I make every effort to maintain client relationships beyond the life of a given project. For example, I let my clients know that I can be reached any time if they have questions about a project a few months down the road, or if they need my opinion about something they plan to do going forward (even if I won’t be involved for the long-term). Clients really appreciate this accessibility.

Paying it forward

When a past or present client needs something done that I can’t do, for whatever reason, I make it a point to refer them to someone who can do it. My goal is for my clients to walk away with a solution, but that solution doesn’t have to be me. This last piece of advice may seem very counter-intuitive to business expansion, but it really works. Satisfied clients pass along my name to colleagues, and people I’ve referred remember me when they move on to new companies.

I think what surprised me most is that my client roster is entirely different now than it was from 2002 through 2006. Part of that is the nature of my work, which is very event driven. Clients launch campaigns and those campaigns end, so I’m no longer needed. Often clients hire me as a stop gap until they can find a more permanent internal solution. This means a fresh set of new clients on a regular basis, and quite a long list of dusty email messages from people I no longer work with.

As I read through my old client emails, many of which contained long strings of correspondence within the messages, I noticed a pattern. I tend to start off new client relationships very proactively, follow through reasonably well throughout the life of a project, then wrap things up quickly after about three to six months – whether the client is ready to do this or not.

I’m not sure if this is some kind of “startup fever” on my part or it’s just, as I said above, the nature of my work. But regardless of the reason, I have to admit that I love the excitement of winning new work and starting off fresh with new clients. Ironically, this is also one of the most stressful and costly aspects of being self-employed.

As my email plainly demonstrated to me, I’m stuck in an unending cycle of starting new things, only to end them when the paint starts to fade, so that I can devote my time to starting new things once again.

I have a strong suspicion that this isn’t entirely productive. Would it be so bad, after all, to work with the same group of clients for more than a few months to a year at a time? On the contrary, I think it might be very nice to take it down a notch and focus on something other than honing my sales skills. It’s amazing what you can learn from some dusty old email. I’m almost sorry I deleted it all.

The book is due out on the shelves on July 15th, so it was kind of neat to get a sneak peak.

I’ll admit I’m a skeptic when it comes to parenting books. I have a 7-year-old and a 4-year-old, so I’d like to think my kids are beyond tantrums. Of course I’m fooling myself.

That was painfully clear today when my husband explained how my 4-year-old had a titanic meltdown in Lowes because her Barbie lost a shoe somewhere in the store. He left without buying anything or going food shopping as he’d planned to do.
But you know, denial is nice assuming one can hang onto it for any length of time. In any case, I’ve been cracking open “I Brake for Meltdowns” more frequently than I’d planned.

Right off the bat, the book set a tone I could relate to. The second paragraph contains (in my humble opinion) the best line in the book. “I think it’s accurate to say that small children sometimes behave as if they are, in fact, crazy.” Amen to that, sista.

The book is laid out categorically with each chapter tackling a different issue (e.g., Meltdowns/Tantrums, Social Graces, Sleep, Eating, etc.) Since my 4-year-old currently refuses to eat anything except chicken nuggets, string cheese, pasta and bologna - I flipped to this chapter first. The advice was sound - don’t give her too many choices, don’t give her a snack if she refuses to eat dinner, serve stuff you know she’ll like.

Truth be told, most of the information is stuff I heard in the past but it was nice to reinforce it. It kind of made me confront the realization that it’s not okay to let her take all her meals of bologna and string cheese on the couch while watching SpongeBob.

Also, while some of the advice just won’t work for my child, that’s ok because every kid is different. For example, there’s no way my child will take a bite out of a cucumber round even if I explain that it will turn into a moon. But I don’t hold this against the authors - my daughter is stubborn as hell when it comes to eating. In fact, I was heartened by the comment included in this section, “Eating, like pooping, is out of our control.” It kind of feels nice to be let off the hook once in a while.

One final note - I liked the index at the back of the book which lists various issues alphabetically. It makes for a handy reference. Stuff like, Fingernail clipping, First-aid training, First-time offense, etc. I live for the day I get to write an index like this in a book. Only mine will read more like: Demonstrating “me-time” by example, Explaining PMS, and (my favorite), Get-the-hell-off-of-me.

I’d done something, however small, to reduce our carbon footprint and I wanted to do more. It made me take a good look at what I could do to become greener at work.

It turns out, as a telecommuter, I was already off to a good start. Last year the Consumer Electronics Association released the results of a study titled, ”The Energy and Greenhouse Gas Emissions Impact of Telecommuting and e-Commerce.”

The study revealed that the estimated 3.9 million telecommuters in the U.S. reduced gasoline consumption by 840 million gallons and curbed carbon dioxide emissions by 14 million tons (this is equivalent to removing 2 million vehicles from the road every year).

But gas isn’t the only “green” issue to consider at work. National Geographic’s Green Guide has a lot to say about the environmental impact of paper, for example. From the toxic byproducts created when wood pulp is bleached, to deforestation and the vast amount of garbage paper creates (paper contributes 30-40% of landfill waste), there are many good reasons for businesses to limit its use.

As a telecommuter who spends all of my time online, I use very little paper, but I could use even less if I really tried. Computer storage is relatively cheap, and most computers come with built in CD burners, so there’s really nothing stopping me from creating a virtually paperless work environment.

In addition to reducing my total garbage output by working from home, I’m also trying to eat less packaged foods and eat local foods when possible.

Last summer, thanks to my husband’s careful ministrations, we had plenty of string beans, tomatoes, basil, cucumbers, peppers and lettuce for home grown salads at lunch time. Picking lunch directly from the backyard garden not only saves money, fuel and reduces garbage, it’s also guaranteed organic and tastes delicious!

These are some of the things I’ve personally done to try and live more conscientiously, but there’s always more to do! Earth Day, which takes place on April 22nd, is a great time to reflect on the impact we each have on the environment and strategize ways to reduce our carbon footprint.