Working at home can have stressful moments | May 06th 2007
By Jacqueline Dooley
Quitting work to stay home with your baby or older child is a hard decision - one that never entered my mind when I got pregnant the first time. I took six weeks off after the birth of my oldest daughter, Ana (now 6) and went right back into the fray of a full-time job even though it broke my heart.
Six whole weeks seemed like a really long time to be off from work. But I wasn’t a mother yet, even though I was about to become one, and I didn’t have the foresight to understand how much my baby would interfere with my feelings about everything, especially my job.
But those first six weeks flew by and it was time to go back to work way before I was mentally ready. But, I still got up that first morning, packed my breast pump and headed to the office.
I worked full time for the first year and a half of Ana’s life, but my enthusiasm for my job was stifled, overshadowed by my love for my baby. I used to wonder if men felt the same heart-wrenching feeling of loss every day when they drove away from their babies.
It was a relief when I got laid off in October 2002, when Ana was about 16 months. For the first time I got to spend entire days with my daughter that included play dates, library story times and trips to the park.
Staying at home full-time was great at first, but it presented challenges that I didn’t expect. I actually missed work, and I longed to have some time to myself. I was also very lonely and missed chatting with my friends from work - something I’d taken for granted when I saw them every day.
Isolating experience
I learned how isolating it is to be home with a young child all day long. I remember taking walks with her and trying to structure the day so neither of us would get bored, which wasn’t always easy, particularly in the winter. I lived for nap times when I could get a break. I never really stopped looking for work during this time because we couldn’t afford it, not really, but unemployment checks enabled me to take my time.
When I started working for myself a few hours a week it was the best of both worlds for me. But as my business grew, my hours also grew and I found I was more stressed out than ever trying to keep up all the household responsibilities while simultaneously focusing on my business.
My father used to tell me, “be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.”
Since I’ve had my kids, I often think of his words. I was miserable when I worked full-time in an office, and not as blissfully happy as I thought I would be when I was home full-time. Working full-time from home is also not my ideal scenario, although it’s the one I’m living now.
I don’t resent my business. On the contrary, I’m very grateful for it, but that doesn’t mean I’m completely sold on the idea I can’t one day work less hours and spend more time doing mom things. There can be time for both if I create time, but I’ve been a mom and business owner long enough to know that’s easier said than done.
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This article was published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on Saturday, April 5th, 2007.