The Selfishness of the Self-Employed | Aug 08th 2006
by Jacqueline Dooley
The truth is I can be quite selfish. I never realized (or admitted) this until I started working for myself in 2002 after getting laid off from a job I had poured my heart and soul into for five years.
By the time I got the bad news, I hated that job. Getting laid off was akin to stepping from a dark cave, blinking, into the sunlight.
I hadn’t been unemployed since middle school. I worked part-time at various jobs, including newspaper delivery, data entry, baby-sitting, book shelving and waiting tables since the age of 11.
This work ethic, born of necessity and at a very young age, was fierce and determined to thrive even during unemployment.
I made getting a job my job. I sent out nearly a hundred resumes in the first two weeks and, although I could find no takers for full-time employment since I was not willing to relocate, I was working part-time from home within a month after getting laid off.
My first client was based in Australia, my pay rate was $15 an hour, and they could only afford me 15 hours a week. Still, my work ethic was satisfied, and I noticed something about myself. I was happy. For the first time in years, I looked forward to working.
I liked working only 15 hours per week and having days at a time to spend with my daughter. I liked not having to ask permission for my time — a few extra days off around the holidays, a day sick in bed, a morning play date with my daughter.
I loved that my work was all about me — my performance, my expertise and my process. I had finally stopped using the corporate “we.”
I didn’t think I would ever be able to go back to 40 hours per week at one company, but I tried a few years later. Ad agency life in New York City is busy. I quickly discovered the 40-hour work week had grown into a 60-hour work week.
No amount of money is worth all the time, all the creativity and all the energy I have to give. So I quit — sort of. I reduced my role to that of a consultant and weaned myself down to 60 hours per month instead of 60 per week.
Burned out in New York
My replacement relocated from Canada to join the busy New York agency that was too much for me. She quit last week after just five months. This was no surprise to me. I watched the job swallow her whole week after week.
Canada averages 26 vacation days per year — in comparison she got a couple of summer Fridays, 10 vacation days and a handful of holidays off. In exchange for this dubious benefits package, she worked 12-hour days, which included many long nights and weekends.
She leaves the advertising grind this week to work full-time in a completely different industry for less money.
This is a tremendous loss to my industry as far as I’m concerned. My colleague is another casualty of unrealistic expectations.
Is it egotistic to want to be more than your job? Is there something wrong with you when two summer Fridays aren’t enough, or you want to be able to spend one day a week at home working with your feet up, or you only have 40 hours to give in a single week? Should we be resigned to donate every shred of ourselves to our jobs because that’s what companies tell us we should do?
I think not, but, I admit, I’m selfish.
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This article was published in the August 5, 2006 edition of the Poughkeepsie Journal under the title, “It’s nice to drop the corporate ‘we’ for more of just ‘me’“