Overcoming Self-Imposed Deadlines | Jul 18th 2007
by Jacqueline Dooley
I’ve been focused on being on time for as long as I can remember and my kids appear to be following the same path. Between day care, school, play dates, gymnastics, holidays, parties, family dinners and other events, we’re literally always rushing out the door.
And if it’s not something kid-specific, then it’s something job-specific that pushes me to rush my two little girls each morning so I don’t fall behind schedule. This stresses everyone out and has prompted me to wonder about the necessity of self-imposed deadlines and if it’s at all possible to change my burning need to be on time (or a few minutes early).
If you have to punch in, sign in or check in to a full-time job at an office at a specific time, then having a set time you do things each morning makes sense. But what does being on time mean when you work from home or for yourself?
I’m learning it doesn’t mean much, actually. Unless I have a specific event scheduled, then it doesn’t make a difference if I start my day at 9 or 10:30 a.m. or noon. The one caveat to this brilliant realization is I still need to get my work done.
The funny thing about being a free agent is it’s extremely easy to mess up. Thus, there are two main criteria pushing me to impose strict deadlines on my life - fear and temptation. I know if I don’t exercise discipline on a regular basis, then I tend to blow work off.
Somewhat ironically, my children do not have the same luxury of freedom as I do. My 6-year-old needs to be signed in at camp between 8:30 and 8:45 a.m. SHARP. My 3-year-old is also in a summer preschool program and if I don’t get her to school by 8:30 a.m., she misses breakfast.
Designing my life
In many ways, self-employment has allowed me to shape and mold my life in new and unexpected ways. Still, all the freedom I have with my work hasn’t come close to undoing the conditioning a lifetime of scheduling has burned into my brain. This has given me the discipline to run my own business and consistently meet client expectations.
But what good is having the freedom to design your life if you never exercise that freedom, even a little bit? So, I’ve begun trying to relax my need to get started at a specific time each day. I’m also trying to extend that flexibility to my children’s schedules. For example, I’ve been giving my 6-year-old the option of staying home from camp on days when it’s raining or extremely hot. I mean, it’s camp, for crying out loud.
I do want my children to respect other people’s time. I also want them to function well in a society that’s very addicted to being on time. Still, I hope introducing flexibility and freedom into their daily routines at an early age will arm them with the skills they need to one day design lives that make them both happy.