Big Contradiction for Working Mother | Feb 03rd 2007
By Jacqueline Dooley
No matter how many hours I spend in the office, I almost never find it difficult to leave the trappings of full-time employment and step into the role of mom at the end of the day or week.
Perhaps it’s because I never truly relinquish that role while I’m at work. My first priority is my children. My first thought when I leave them is about how happy I’ll be to see them when the day is done.
So it seems ironic that I spend a lot of time talking and thinking about work while I’m with my kids. I think this contradiction lies with the fact I want to be accepted by parents and professionals as an equally invested member of both groups.
When I speak with clients or prospective clients, I feel compelled to let them know I am a mother. Whether it’s a quick mention of picking my daughter up for kindergarten, or apologizing for the occasional loud shrieks from my 2-year-old as she plays downstairs with my husband, I rarely start a relationship with a client without making it clear I have children.
The same is true with regard to work when I’m in a social situation with other parents. This weekend, for example, I was at a birthday party filled with people who didn’t know me. My 5-year-old ran off to play but my 2-year-old stuck to me like glue.
Be proud
At one point I was chatting with another parent over a bowl of chips. I asked him what he did for a living, we talked about his job for a few minutes and then there was one of those awkward pauses that so frequently occur when meeting new people. I waited for him to ask me about my job. He didn’t. He looked at my 2-year-old and said, “So I guess she gets you out and about a lot, right?”
I could’ve acquiesced at that point and moved on. After all, she does get me out and about a lot and here was an opportunity to be 100 percent mom in a setting where that was completely acceptable.
Instead, I smiled, explained I was self-employed as a full-time marketing consultant, dropped the names of several of my well-known clients and threw in the fact I wrote a weekly column for the Poughkeepsie Journal. It felt great to say all those things and be proud of it.
It’s definitely easier to admit to myself and others that I miss my children when I’m not with them. But to admit enjoy working and running my own business, and contributing to the financial growth of my family is much harder.
But the truth is that while I’ve built a business out of my home so I can be closer to my children, I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit that my business is all about me and the way I prefer to work.
At the end of the day, I don’t think it’s a bad thing to admit I spend my days doing what I love to do, and that sometimes it’s hard to table that even when I’m spending time with the people I love most in the world.
–
This article was published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on Saturday, February 3, 2007 under the title, No Need to Apologize for Work at Home.”