Balancing Needs, Wants is Empowering | Mar 19th 2006
By Jacqueline Dooley
In this day and age, the topic of female empowerment may seem like old news, particularly in light of statistics that show women are a large part of the American work force. Nearly half (46 percent) were women in 2004, the U.S. Department of Labor found. Monster.com reported 85 percent of these working women are, or will become, mothers.
To many of us, working translates into empowerment. We’re doctors, teachers, bus drivers, chefs and entrepreneurs. And a lot of us are also mothers. Having my own business makes me feel empowered. It’s been a source of pride, having two healthy, happy children. So why do I often feel like my life is running me, and not the other way around?
My typical week is so tightly packed with tasks and deadlines, it is not unusual for me to go two or three days without leaving the house. I will get up between 6 a.m. and 7 a.m., make coffee, perform morning mommy tasks such as making breakfast, changing diapers and getting my sleepy 4-year-old ready for preschool. I take a hasty shower, dress and work for a couple hours before I realize I forgot to eat.
My late-morning break is a quick meal and 15 minutes of quality time with my almost 2-year-old (usually another diaper change). I sneak back upstairs and work for another three or four hours until hunger drives me to my second 15-minute break. Quitting time is between 5 p.m. and 6 p.m., barring tight deadlines that stretch work until 6 p.m. or 7 p.m.
Back to kids, crayons
I put my mommy hat back on when I give my husband a break from the kids. Most evenings involve drying tears, giving piggyback rides and spending lots of time at a tiny table with crayons, paper and clay. It’s about 9 when I’m ready to go to bed myself.
Wow, do I feel empowered!
Sometimes it feels as if women in my generation have been shortchanged. We have taken on the responsibilities of the work force without relinquishing the responsibilities of the home.
There’s a fine line bet-ween empowerment and imprisonment. I haven’t seen a dentist in years. I joined the local Y and ended up canceling my membership.
Empowerment is as much about getting my hair cut in the middle of the day as it is about my business and family.
When I asked my mother what empowerment means to her, she said, “The right to live my life on my own terms.”
That’s a pretty good point. Thanks, Mom.
I don’t have to let my life run me. Knowing that I can turn down the chaos when I need to and still have the things I want, is a start, but achieving this tenuous balance is the most empowering thing of all.
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“Balancing Needs, Wants is Empowering,” was published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on Saturday, March 4, 2006.