by Jacqueline Dooley
As a freelance consultant, I have the opportunity to peek into the windows of many companies. There are many benefits to this, not the least of which is making friends and contacts in a variety of disciplines.
This is the best part of my job. I’ve made some good friends and had the opportunity to meet and work with some online marketing thought leaders. I doubt this would’ve been the case if I remained at one company, in one cubicle, working on a handful of the same accounts year after year.
A drawback of having my foot in the threshold of many doorways is instability — in my day-to-day responsibilities, my project list at any given moment and with the colleagues and companies that are part of my work week. The constant goodbyes can make me feel more than a bit anxious.
For example, last week a client I have worked with since May outsourced some of my responsibilities to another freelancer. I worked for this company as a full-time employee for eight months before opting to reduce my hours and become a freelancer — something they were not happy about.
In giving up my full-time role as director of Internet marketing, I also gave up the right to complain about companywide decisions. I understand it was a business decision. I did not have much time and they needed to find another solution. Still, it stung.
As I was grappling with that news, another client brought on a full-time Web site marketer, ending my stint there.
I loved working for this company. This gig was why I quit my full-time job to enter the unstable waters of the freelancer after having a solid full-time position with (gasp) benefits and everything!
Sometimes losing a good client can be just as hard as losing a good friend. When you are passionate about your work, and believe in the product or service you are promoting, it makes you feel good about yourself. This company in Seattle got started for all the right reasons and I will miss being a part of it.
When I spoke with their new marketer and heard her enthusiasm and the lack of any hesitation in referring to herself as part of this organization, I admit I felt a pang of jealousy.
Everyone wants to be part of something — but when you are part of a lot of things, it is too easy to feel like you’re not really a part of anything. Most days I am glad to be part of so many companies and have the opportunity to work with many great people, but it can be tiring to always be the outsider, though I chose to take on that role in the first place.
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This article was published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on Saturday, July 30, 2006.
by Jacqueline Dooley
It’s confession time. The truth is, I have a really hard time separating from my kids for more than a few hours a time. Perhaps it’s the constant proximity to them since I work from home, or the fact that I have not had to do a lot of travel for work over the past few years (thanks to the wonders of technology), but I have a really hard time leaving them without massive amounts of guilt and/or long moments of longing to see them again.
I look at strollers and sigh. I pick up little gifts for them while I’m out. I sneak glances at their picture when I’m in meetings (it’s my computer’s background image).
I have a problem, I admit it.
Last week I had to travel to New Jersey for an all-day training session with a new client. The drive is actually very nice, just an hour or so on the Thruway. My client is located just off the first exit on the Garden State in Montvale, NJ. A lovely town, an easy drive and the bonus of passing the outlet stores on my way home. What else could a working woman want?
Yet instead of embracing the prospect of having a day to myself to focus on work and be an adult, get out of the house (and out of sweat pants) and be with grown ups all day, I dreaded the trip in. I had major anxiety the morning I was going in – mainly because I wanted to accompany my girls to daycare. It was my 2-year-old’s second week and I really wanted to be there for her. She only goes on Thursdays and Fridays, so I swore to my bemused husband that I would go with them on Friday morning.
On that angst-riddled morning, my five-year-old gave me a quick hug and told me she’d see me later. In fact, I had to seek her out to get that hug because she was busy collecting her stuff for her day at preschool. She has grown used to my occasional all-day trips away from home and seems unphased by them.
So why does it still break my heart to leave her? I’m starting to think I have the I-want-it-all syndrome, but I’ll get to that in a moment.
Enter the two-year-old. She’s quite independent, but she’s also quite attached to me. I’ve been known to sneak up to my office more than once while my husband distracts her during the day just so I didn’t have to hear “no mommy!” when I say good bye.
Even though she’s doing great with daycare twice a week, and she’s a real people person, loves new situations and is totally safe and happy with my husband while I’m away, I still have a very difficult time facing the day when I know won’t see her all day long.
I’ve come to realize at times like this that it’s not my kids who have separation anxiety to the extreme, it’s me. I don’t want to miss anything. I don’t look forward to an entire day absent of them. I’ve grown used to their constant presence. It’s my safety net, having them within arm’s reach.
This is where wanting it all comes into play. The thing is, I want a successful business and that requires forty-plus hours of commitment per week. I also don’t want to miss anything. Not one tear. Not one triumph. For the most part, I can arrange to be nearby at all times, but sometimes that’s not possible. I guess that’s not such a bad thing – we all outgrow separation anxiety at some point, don’t we?
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This article was published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on Saturday, July 15th, 2006.
By Jacqueline Dooley
It’s fairly obvious motherhood can be a major obstacle in a woman’s career path, particularly new motherhood. Even the most uneventful pregnancies — the ones where you’re able to work to near full-capacity for the entire 9 months — are followed by a blissful and all-too-short hiatus known as maternity leave. When things go wrong either during pregnancy, or afterward, the effect on career growth can be detrimental.
A recent article in the Wall Street Journal’s CareerJournal.com states controlling stress during pregnancy is becoming a top concern for women and health-care providers. Stress increases the likelihood of preterm births and low birth weight.
So, ladies, the reality is we do need to slow down no matter how fast we’d like to scramble up the corporate ladder with baby in tow.
I’ve had the opportunity to experience two pregnancies during two very different points in my career. I was working full time at an agency during my first pregnancy; accustomed to working long days and juggling a massive workload. I did not believe for one second I would need to slow down during or after my pregnancy. Let me state for the record this was an extremely naive assumption.
I was self-employed during my second pregnancy and fully engaged in growing my consultancy business. This time I knew I’d need to slow down, my pregnancy would affect the growth of my business and having a new baby would stall my business’ growth for a while, likely a long while.
Then, during the sixth month of my pregnancy, I learned my baby would be born with a major birth defect — cleft lip and palate. My husband and I knew the work involved with a new baby, but we had no idea what was in store for us with a baby who had special needs and would require two major surgeries by the age of 1.
Reaching a standstill
The combination of having a toddler and a newborn who needed a lot of medical attention for the first year of her life equated to one major reality — the growth of my business not only slowed, it stopped.
Luckily, it did not disappear altogether. I worked about 15-20 hours a week during my younger daughter’s first year, but I paid very little attention to my business.
It’s interesting to me how both my full-time career path and my home-based business growth were similarly affected by pregnancy and new motherhood. Because I experienced two very different work scenarios during my pregnancies, I was really able to see how the stages of my career mimicked the stages of motherhood in both instances.
New motherhood is a time of great joy and even greater work. Add to that lack of sleep, and the very strong maternal pull to want to be with the baby at all times, and you can see how work may become secondary.
When my youngest daughter was 1 and had recovered from her second surgery and my older daughter was 4 and attending preschool three days a week, my husband and I decided it was time for me to focus on my business full time again.
My kids are now 2 and 5, and growing more independent each day. My older daughter will start kindergarten in the fall. The little one is progressing wonderfully since her surgery in April 2005. She’ll be starting day care two days a week in July.
Perhaps not coincidentally, I just signed on with three new clients. All my babies are growing up.
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This article was published in the Poughkeepsie Journal on Saturday, July 1st, 2006.
